// what do you think?


Ew, put that thing back in your pants!: The Assault of Masturbatory Marketing

We’ve all seen it.  The website that proudly proclaims the awesomeness of the new product, the brand, the campaign.  The one that wants to give you a chance to be a part of the awesomeness! The one who invites you to submit your email address to get updates about awesome new things happening around this awesome product!

The tone-deaf “we love ourselves, so you must love us” content that makes a lot of us cringe as we are assumed to be a member of a mindless ever loyal, interested and open-walleted army known as “our consumers”.

I’ve figured out what makes it so uncomfortable to experience.

It’s marketing masturbation.

It’s a selfish, indulgent, isolating, base  activity acted upon purely for the benefit of oneself.  It’s based on the toxic myth of ‘us vs them’.

Basically, you’re unwillingly watching a company jerk off.

If you drop trou and do that in front of a subway car full of people, you get arrested. It’s an assault. You’re forcing unwilling and non-consenting individuals to be involved in your own self-centered fetish.

Do it in an ad campaign or a website, however, and you get featured in Ad Age.

Yuck.  Put that thing back in your pants, dude.

Jeremy Meyers is an Engagement Strategist at Waggener Edstrom and also blogs at JeremyMeyers.com. He does not like potato chips.

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About Jeremy

Jeremy Meyers is a NYC-based social communication blogger searching for his dream job creating great experiences for and with those who honor us with their attention. He blogs about this, podcasts, music, life and other random geekery at JeremyMeyers.com.

  • http://topsy.com/www.newcommbiz.com/ew-put-that-thing-back-in-your-pants-the-assault-of-masturbatory-marketing/?utm_source=pingback&utm_campaign=L2 Tweets that mention Ew, put that thing back in your pants!: The Assault of Masturbatory Marketing — Topsy.com

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jill Elswick, Richard Becker, AllThingsM, Bellingham SocMed, Marketing Filter and others. Marketing Filter said: RT @tacanderson Ew, put that thing back in your pants!: The Assault of Masturbatory Marketing http://bit.ly/9R8I8o (new post) [...]

  • Ryan

    It's really not that big of a deal for a company to display it's product and it's cool features. The ad you linked to even tells us a little bit about the product, they aren't just shouting “we rock!” Get off your high horse dude. Quit wasting your time with this website. Seriously. No offense.

  • http://www.jeremymeyers.com/ Jeremy Meyers

    It's not a big deal, but its also not nearly as effective as connecting with me and showing how my specific issues can be resolved with their product. And building a relationship, so that I feel predisposed to use one product over another. Otherwise, everything is commoditized and the only differentiator becomes price.

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